Advice
by Mister Don Johnny Cadet Sir
Summary: Two-Shot: "We wanted to ask you a question."
1. Chapter 1

**This comes in two parts. If you ****_like _****light-hearted short stories, then just stop at this one. The second part to this is a ****_lot _****more depressing and will bound to make this very un-funny. Anyway, I hope you like it.**

**I'm just making Garuru's personality up… I've only seen him portrayed as a teenager maybe two times, and ****_being _****a teenager myself, I like to think of him being rather awkward. I mean, aren't we all at that age? XD**

* * *

"Big bro!" Giroro yelled, slamming his small fists against the door. "Big bro! _Open up!"_

His cries and bangs went unnoticed; the already loud song increased as it began it's screaming chorus.

"It's no use!" Keroro hollered to his friend.

"Let's leave!" Zeroro suggested.

"I have an idea!" Giroro said, trying to outmatch the music, but neither of the children could hear each other. Instead of waiting for a reply, knowing it was futile to attempt to communicate anyhow, he skipped over to a chord that was unplugged, with it's electric counterpart on the wall looking lonely and desolate. After a moment's hesitation, as if he was weighing the importance of the reason why he so badly wanted to speak to his brother, he finally picked it up and plugged it in. The music died instantly.

Behind Garuru's door, there was a confused grunt of surprise, following a few clicks (no doubt coming from the remote control and the boom box) and very aggravated, aggressive sighs.

"_Giroro!_"

Keroro and Zeroro instantly squeaked and hid behind their red companion while his older brother unlocked the door and poked his head out, red eyes glowing.

"I _told _you to _never_ plug that-!"

"We wanted to ask you a question."

Garuru appeared bemused for a moment, but he recovered and then perked a brow. "…What kind of question?" He asked finally.

Keroro and Zeroro at this time let out a breath of relief, and slid out into sight, standing next to Giroro. They all looked at each uneasily, pushing each other with a nervous hand and repeating the muttered phrase, "No, _you _do it."

Garuru stood impatiently, opening the door a little wider, bringing his entire body into view. "Guys, spit it out-"

"Girls," Keroro blurted.

The four Keronians stared at each other, three of which were gazing intently, anxious for an answer.

Garuru was silent, unsure of _how _to answer to that. "Uh." He bit his finger, cleared his throat, and then said, "What… what about them?"

"Just the basics," Keroro said, rather simply.

"The… basics?"

"Yeah," Keroro, Zeroro, and Giroro nodded.

Garuru was struck dumb. _How _was he supposed to respond to that?

"U-uh… why are you asking _me _this?"

"Well, first we went to see his dad," Giroro said, pointing a thumb toward Keroro. "But then he told us to talk to his mom. And then his mom told us to talk to _Zeroro's _mom-"

"And then she paid us to never ask her again," Zeroro interrupted, briefly.

"-And so we asked Joriri, but he kept telling us about shoe laces and cows, and something about rubber bands instead, so then we decided to ask dad."

"But your dad's asleep on the couch," Keroro piped cheerfully. "He snores funny!"

Garuru sucked a breath, planted his hands on his hips, and then released it. "Um. Okay." He scratched the back of his head, feeling awkward about being placed in such a situation. "Uh, come inside, I guess."

The three kids ran inside eagerly, excited to learn, but more excited to see the exotic room that they were forbidden to enter. As they looked inside wondrously, Garuru closed the door, walked over to his bed, and leaned against it, staring into his hands.

"Okay, big bro," Giroro said finally. "Tell us."

"Girls…" Garuru looked up and rolled his hands around, like he didn't know what to say. He searched his room as if he was trying to inspire himself a way to start this conversation. "Girls… girls are like…" His eyes landed on the rifle on his desk. "….guns. Uh, you know what?" _Let's not get into that before I find out the reason._ "Why do you guys want to learn about girls so badly, anyway?"

"Pururu," Zeroro said matter-of-factly. "That's why."

"Pururu?"

"Our friend," The pale blue frog said sweetly. Garuru at this point noticed his younger brother and his green friend blushing slightly at this, and Zeroro gazed at them curiously before adding, "They keep making that _face_, and I don't understand why."

"So that's why you want to know." Garuru grinned despite himself.

"Yeah, so tell us!" Keroro demanded. "Just tell us why we're feeling this way!"

Garuru clapped a hand over his mouth. "O-okay. Uh." His fingers tapped over the top of his lips. Finally, he exhaled deeply. "Guys, really, it's not like I _hang out _with a lot of girls…"

"So you don't know?"

"I don't know," Garuru said hastily, deciding that lying would be the best way to get out of this. "I don't know anything-"

"So you don't know any girls?"

"…I know, ah, _some _girls, but-"

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

Garuru was completely taken aback by the question. He blinked nervously at Giroro, who watched him innocently. "Why do you say that?"  
Giroro shrugged. "I d'no. It's just a question."

"No.. I don't-"

"Psh, that's not what this says!"

Garuru swiveled his head to the side, horrified to see that Keroro had opened up a brown yearbook, _his _yearbook, and was reading the page that was currently bookmarked.

"_Keroro_!" Garuru snapped, his whole face suddenly reddening. "_Give _me that-!"

"Is this her?" Keroro asked, pulling out a picture that was used as the said bookmark. "She's pretty!"

"Ooh! I wanna see!"

"Wow! She's _very _pretty!"

"Guys, _OUT!_"

Keroro, Zeroro, and Giroro were angrily shoved out of Garuru's room, toppling over each other with a quiet _thump_. Garuru had the picture tightly in his hand, with the other hand on the handle of the door. Careful that they were not near or inside his room, he slammed it, making the ground shiver and the three tadpoles shudder. They sat in a bundle, staring wide-eyed at Garuru's room, wondering _what _they could have possibly done wrong.

"…_Teenagers_," Keroro concluded.

The door chinked with a start, and the friends turned quickly, startled, toward it. Garuru stepped out, stomped toward the plug, yanked it out of the wall, and returned to his room.

But not before delivering a horrifying, spine-tingling glare that Giroro called the "Daddy Look".

The three Keronians ran out of the house, shrieking, absolutely _petrified_. "_Please don't shoot us!_"


	2. Chapter 2

A few days later, Giroro came home from school to a fiery, heated argument.

He had assumed that it was his dad and his mom, but when he glanced at the kitchen, he was bewildered to see that he was only half right. Instead, it was his mother and older brother.

He wasn't sure what they were arguing about, but whatever it was about, it felt… _different_.

Garuru was the 'perfect child'. Usually when he was misbehaving, it amused Giroro, because it proved that his parents were _wrong_, that Garuru was extremely capable of being the no-so-perfect child.

But this… the air, it felt hot, sticky. Their words intoxicated the kitchen, making it difficult to breathe.

Giroro swallowed anxiously and turned, more than eager to leave and hide, when suddenly there was a sudden, piercing, _slap!_

The red Keronian immediately turned around, eyes widening at the sight of Garuru, who's face was turned slightly to the right, a pink, hand-shaped mark slowly forming. Their mother's paw was twitching slightly as it was slowly brought down, and her jaw was set and bitter.

"Garuru," She said in an abnormally penetrating, cold tone. "Go to your room."

Garuru was silent as he stalked past Giroro.

Giroro whimpered in surprise as the door was slammed shut.

He gazed at his mother, confused, expecting an explanation, but was dismayed as she didn't give one. Instead, she coolly walked by him and entered her own room, shutting the door softly behind her.

Giroro didn't know what to do. Go ask mom what happened? Go get dad? Ask Garuru if he's okay? He was so perplexed, frightened.

So he sat down and began to cry.

* * *

The next day Giroro saw Garuru talking to a girl.

The same one that was in that picture.

She really was pretty, smiling up at his older brother happily.

Giroro knew he shouldn't be snooping, but he was just so curious. It wasn't everyday that he saw Garuru with his girlfriend.  
He couldn't hear anything, but he knew that Garuru had said something wrong, because the girl's face slowly melted away, revealing a puzzled, startled gaze.

_You can't be serious_, Giroro thought she said, watching her mouth move. Garuru's back was toward him, erect, firm. He knew that stance- whatever it was he said, he was dead serious.

_Garuru-_

The purple Keronian simply turned around and left her there, without bothering to clarify, without bothering to say anything else.

The girl's eyes filled with tears, and she made a sharp turn toward the opposite direction, sobbing into her hands, walking back home.

* * *

_Fire._

Giroro awoke sitting straight on his bed, eyes wide, staring at the wall in front of him. He smelled something burning.

_Smoke means fire_, Giroro thought, half asleep, panicked. He immediately jumped out of bed and ran to tell everyone, but was baffled to realize that there was no one there. His mom, dad, brother- they all weren't here. His initial thought was that they had all left him there in the burning house, without any consideration for his well-being. He was about to cry when he realized that the smoke was coming from the _outside_, not inside. He walked over to the nearest window and saw the fire.  
He quickly ran out to investigate.

To his horror, Garuru had lit a fire in a trashcan, its flames dancing and flickering high in the wind.

"Big bro, what are you _doing_?"

Garuru turned around, equally surprised to be discovered.

"Where's mom and dad?! Why are you doing that-?!"

"Giroro, go inside." His words were crisp and sharp, a no-nonsense answer.

"…Why?"

"I don't feel like hearing you ask questions." He turned back to the flame.

Giroro was silent for a moment.

"Giroro-"

"If I don't say anything, can I watch?"

Startled, Garuru glanced over his shoulder, to his considerably scared and confused younger brother.

"…Fine."

The little red Keronian walked around Garuru and took a seat, making sure to distance himself safely away from the fire. He had barely noticed the objects laying around the rusty trash bin; the paper and small boxes and… the year book, splayed open, with photos and pages ripped out.

Giroro watched with an astonished, disturbed expression as his brother calmly fed the flames the things on the floor. The paper inside the fire browned at the edges, then curled and blackened. White ashes flew away, escaping the orange hotness; the remains of the burned photo.

There was one on the floor, the bookmark, placed to the side.

At first Giroro was a little relieved; he didn't know why, but that's how he felt.

He rubbed his eyes sleepily as Garuru continued to nourish the blistering flower the things on the grass, slow, almost hesitant at first, and then quickly, like he was impatient to get rid of everything he had.

The picture and the entire yearbook, however empty-looking, were last.

Garuru slowly picked up the photo, staring at it, letting out a shuddering breath, before letting it go to the mouth of the hungry fire.

Giroro's heart sank for some reason. He didn't understand why; he just did.

Garuru stared, stiffly, at the crumbling snapshot that curled and shrank and burned, until eventually it existed into nothing but a few pale ashes, fluttering away, finally, from the flame's grasp, and dancing away to the wind.

Garuru picked up the yearbook and tossed it into the bin.

Giroro gazed up at his brother. It was obvious he was exhausted, but there was this… new look to him. He looked frighteningly older, and hardened, and… gone. It was like he was witnessing some part of his brother die away. What, he didn't know, but it was terrifying. He didn't want this to happen, but he couldn't do anything but stand helplessly on the sidelines, watching.

"Giroro," Garuru said suddenly.

Giroro jumped. "Y-yes?"

"I'm going to be a soldier."

His younger brother nodded timidly. "I know…"

"And I'm going to be impossible to defeat."

He didn't understand where this was going, but Giroro simply nodded, just to agree.

"Love is a war, Giroro, that you can never win. If you fall in love, you lose."

Garuru grabbed at a bucket of water that was sitting nearby and poured it over the fire, killing it, making it sputter and hiss and exhume its gray, black smoke and white, papery ashes into the air.

Giroro noticed the horizon, grayish clouds revealing themselves, tinted with the palest pink and copper-golden hue, a morning blue beginning to dissipitate the deep violet night.

He glanced at Garuru, who had risen his head, watching the thick smoke beginning to thin out, disappear. He closed his eyes, and turned away. "Come on, Giroro. Let's go inside before mom and dad come back home."

Without another word Giroro ran by his side, and in solemn silence they went inside the house.

* * *

**Well... this is probably the worst story I have ever written. Oh well. Remember I warned you. **

**To Tera: Garuru broke up with the girl.**

To everyone who was hopelessly confused, I apologize. Just hope that I'll make better stories in the future. 


End file.
